Hard Candy
by The Laughing Corpse
Summary: Edited version. Yuusuke learned the art of being an evil little bastard and Hiei doesn’t know if he really dislikes it or not. Nah, how can the dark demon hate it? [HieixYuusuke]. Yaoi.


Title: Hard candy  
Author: The Laughing Corpse  
Genre: One shot, humor, Yaoi.  
Fandom: Yu Yu Hakusho  
Rating: R  
Summary: Yuusuke learned the art of being an evil little bastard and Hiei doesn't know if he really dislikes it or not. Nah, how can the dark demon hate it? HieixYuusuke.  
Warnings: Sugar, CANDY!, Yaoi, oral, hentai-ish, PWP and a sprinkle of O.O.C-ness. **Note: This is the slightler clean version.**  
A/N: Hi. Everyone. How's it going in Hell? I really mean it. Are you really reading this? Jokes aside, a little something for the 30 kisses community challenge at Livejournal, theme #23: Candy. I also did it for the candy and sugar-high bishes too. PWP could mean people with people or porn without plot. This is the second option.**  
**Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho will never be mine. Nope. Sorry. The Yu Yu Hakusho series, they solely belong to Yoshihiro Togashi and other big companies own it. I don't make cash out of this meager piece of writing.

* * *

**Hard Candy**

_"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."  
--Mae West (1892-1980_

Comparing dark erect nipples to Hershey's kisses, pink soft nipples to sweet cherries and pixie sticks candy, the wannabe-snuff (made for kids who can't afford it) to addicting incense distracted Urameshi Yuusuke from the lesson given for the day. Why the Hell should he bother listening?

More accurately: why the Hell is he here in school today?

Hinako-sensei babbled on and on about a long dead subject no one left remaining awake in the classroom gave a hoot about. A quick peek verified his suspicions, two out of the twenty-eight kids in his class were awake and that's including him.

Two girls in the front row hunched slack over their desktops. Lots of the students were utilizing textbooks and notebooks as pillow substitutes or propping the books as miniature forts for hiding the snack they're munching on. Oh, there's a kid sipping a bit of sake.

The cheap kind.

A girl slept with her mouth wide-open, fresh drool dripping down her chin. Ew.

Plus the whistling snoring behind him is a distraction in its own right. Nothing funnier than a chick snoring like a drowning foghorn. Then there's twitchy eyes down the lane to Yuusuke's right, straining to be the diligent A+ student, maintaining his drowsy eyes open. Tough luck, sucker. Not even nerd power can help him today.

The girl right in front of Yuusuke slept peacefully. What envy. If he didn't drink three cups of coffee he could be snoozing too…and just why the heck is he thinking about it? Boredom is a kingdom not meant for the likes of him. God, he's doing things he normally doesn't do, like thinking. Thinking can lead to dangerous things for him.

Like…hmm…all right. He hasn't done anything diabolical without reason. Right. The little wheels in his head aren't turning enough to cook up an idea. Whatever. Thinking is Kurama's job.

School is just bor-ring. Hinako should save herself the trouble and dose off herself, too. Her natural pep and upright attitude's limp today. Which is a first. She is a woman of strict authority demanding the respect of her students in whatever means necessary.

She'd throw—no wait, She did! —A textbook at a snoring idiot in the back and smacked a hardcover book or two over Yuusuke's head. She hasn't whacked him with the metal ruler yet, but it's coming soon with the way things go in class.

The anticipation to see a cute blue-haired girl riding on a floating oar outside his window etched bit by bit his patience. God, where's Botan when you need her? A mission, an escape from this bloody abyss. Anything dammit! He'd take babysitting the pintsize demigod, Koenma, any day than remain here.

Now if his lovely bitch of a teacher would hike up her tight little skirt, maybe unbutton a collar button to flash something…nice and round that would be a different story entirely but sadly that's not the case and his little perversions grow old when they don't come true too often and blah. See, topic became boring already.

_'I'm hungry.'_ Yuusuke's stomach gurgled its hunger. Did he miss lunch along the way while he dazed off? Could be. Knowing his luck he would bet on it.

Yuusuke got up, the move loud enough in the hushed room to echo. Creepy. He slung his backpack over a shoulder heading out to somewhere more interesting than this dump.

"Urameshi, where are you going?" Hinako-sensei asked right out flat. A manicured hand resting on a hip, the stance a wee bit too casual for a woman of her integrity. Tight-assed teachers' loosening up was, how everything wrong in the world today, is known as creepy.

Yuusuke stopped right at the foot of the doorway. He must admit to see a teacher, aside Takenaka, stand up to him is a new event worth paying little heed to. Just a bit. "Out. Bathroom."

"Does it kill you to ask?"

"No."

"Then, why don't you?"

"I don't feel like it. Later." A salute goodbye and he was out. Hinako-sensei didn't bother today to bite his ear off with her bitchy talk. She really was off her game today. Not his problem though.

The roof, his regular hangout spot, was under construction. Replacing squeaky holed fences with new less damaged ones. The sweet time taken to repair the roof consumed a good chunk of Yuusuke's break time. His cut spot was off limits and that sucked a lot for him. Other places on school grounds were either occupied by the latest upstart mini team gangs or patrolled by those annoying, snobby school guards licking their lips to send a student to detention, not that they would bother with Yuusuke out of fear. Landing a punch on them would send him a one-way ticket to a month's worth of after school detention or if he's fortunate enough, suspension.

Lastly, Keiko would gnaw his ear off and badger him about responsibilities should he take the final option to leave the school itself and cut the entire day.

No fun at all. Mooching off Keiko's bento was out of the question, too. She's running the student counsel, the little activity sucking any of her free time for him. Yuusuke hasn't even heard a single whiny bark from her for a while. He missed it really, remembering the last time she had a fit over his little 'roaming hands' habit he picked up for kicks. He could remember clearly in a high-pitched, shrill version of her usual: _"Oh Yuusuke! You nasty perv!"_ screaming and let us not forget her signature brain-jarring slap to the face.

What fun. Such good and very violent times.

Home is out of the question. No food and a drunken lovey-dovey mother isn't worth coming home to early in the day. Where to go, where to go? Options and choices were slim and frankly, to be clear as black and white, skimming through them wasn't worth the hassle. Yuusuke's bent on leaving the school for another lunch-break and he's going to do it but where to go? Dammit!

The room down the corner looked unoccupied and sneaking a quick inspection of the silent classroom verified his suspicions. Nobody's here. Great. In that usual careless, casual manner, Yuusuke made himself at home. He flopped down on the teacher's chair wondering if he should be evil enough to leave a wad of chewed gum on top of the polished desktop or graffiti obscenities with the magic maker he snatched off the kid that sat beside him in class. He wasn't using it; the marker practically begged him to take it.

Served its purpose while he distracted himself from the boring lecture, doodling another comic strip of killer stick figures, adding to the collection of Yuusuke's stick figures artwork.

His stomach rumbled again, interrupting a valid evil deed in the workings, delivering the message his tummy is hungry and won't be satisfied till fed. "Where's food in this joint when you need it?" he said to no one in particular, if anyone were to answer him they better as Hell have something worth munching on with them.

No one did answer. Whatever. As troubling as the idea was, Yuusuke risked possibly suspension for invading a teacher's personal belongings. He opened the desk drawer rummaging through it for anything digestible. No cigar.

Searching through another one Yuusuke hit the jackpot and quite an interesting one really. There piled up was a stash of the best mouthwatering candy enough to feed four greedy individuals. Yuusuke could almost hear the audible 'hallelujah' tune as he picked a few candy bars, unwrapping them, stuffing a good amount of the sugary substance in his mouth. The rich, sweet taste and the crisp crunch sent him straight to cloud nine.

Teachers and chocolate didn't fit together, but who cares! Free candy for him. Yuusuke greedily ate a sickening fill and surprisingly his stomach didn't squirm or turn and the predictable sugar rush is lacking. He figured once he hit the age of seventeen his sugar high, bouncing off the walls days are limited. The one thing that did not reduce or fade away is the rush he gained from a fight and teasing Keiko and Botan, but that's an entirely different story.

Yuusuke sat in the teacher's chair and kicked back like he owned the place. He even went as far as to rest his legs over the desktop, crossing ankles. _Meh, Koenma's chair is more comfy._ The prince of Reikai wasn't pleased Yuusuke took up the habit of sitting on _his_ chair in _his_ office. Demigods sure become testy having their things used. Spoiled brat.

The door closed. Yuusuke tilted his head and found the one and only Hiei standing there, looking dark and Hiei-ish as ever. Nothing changed. Yuusuke wasn't the least bit surprised to see the demon, just another one of the demon's visits. Yippee.

Nope, he really meant the 'yippee' part. Seeing Hiei pushed the boredom out of his day, because 1. Hiei coming to pick him up means a really ass-kicking mission or option 2. —Which is downright more preferable for a man of his substantial requirements—Hiei wants a piece of him. Goody. Yuusuke couldn't wipe off the smile curling his lips. This is rich. "Lonely?"

"Never."

"Koenma sent you?"

"No."

"Then no mission, eh? It's fine with me," Yuusuke replied, turning the chair to take a good look at him. "Aren't you hot under that? It's freakin' hot outside, I'm surprised you're not sweating your balls off."

Hiei rolled his eyes. Yuusuke and his _chic_ way for words. Hmm…come to think of it he isn't any better in that department. Damn. "There are other methods to make that happen." Hiei winced once he said that.

Everything he said lately is some twisted and perverted comment, or implying it. Yuusuke rubbed off on him and as predicted the grin on the Detective's face ensured he didn't miss it. Yuusuke really needed to stop. As fun as it was to exchange slick sexual repartee that particular topic manifested without warning each and every time. If Hiei didn't appreciate putting all that audacious pep to work he might've neutered Yuusuke.

Yuusuke licked the melted chocolate off the tips of his fingers, resisting laughing at Hiei. "Why the frown? Something's up you want to talk about with me?"

Hiei watched his tongue flick out and lick away the sweet substance a little too long. Yuusuke could be so unnaturally sick sometimes Hiei wanted to whack him over the head with his sword. Hiei shook his head, moving up on the ledge of the desktop and sat. "No one's frowning."

"Really?" Yuusuke held out a piece of the new chocolate bar he unwrapped. "Wanna bite?"

Hiei's nose wrinkled in disgust. Candy wasn't much of his thing. "No," Hiei blandly said, not rising to the bait.

"It's crunchy."

"No and that's final," Hiei said and that was _final._ Or at least it should have been. He shoved the upcoming argument out of the debatable category.

"It's actually pretty good. Here. Try it." Yuusuke thrust his hand out, ignoring Hiei's answer.

Hiei's claret eyes narrowed. They seemed to gleam looking down at Yuusuke. "No, Detective. Are you deaf or witless? I said no already."

"I know you want to try it, stop being stubborn and eat it," Yuusuke insisted, growing a little irritated at the stubbornness of the apparition. "It's finger-licking good."

"No."

"Hey, is that hot looking teacher walking the halls?" switching over the topic, Yuusuke inquired Hiei out of the blue.

Hiei thought all of Urameshi Yuusuke's antics are plain aggravating and what the hell was he talking about now? "The what?"

"I know you slipped in through the window. Did you see a woman with long, dark hair and nice legs patrolling the hallways?" Yuusuke said, indicating Hiei exactly the voluptuous shape of her frame with the curving movements of his hands. "Not a chick in Keiko's age group."

"The one with the large, round breasts?" Hiei asked, remembering seeing by a glimpse a woman of that description talking to another student in one of the classrooms.

"Yeah, that one."

"No, she is preoccupied." Hiei slipped a sideways glance at the closed door. No one walked the hallways.

"One problem down then." He eyed Hiei's black jacket, cloak, whatever. _One thing at a time._ Yuusuke idly waved the half eaten bar. "Now. Eat it. I know you can't deny the chocolately goodness, Hiei," Yuusuke resumed to forcing Hiei to take a bite out of the sweet substance.

"No, Detective," Hiei said again, his response the same as before. He slapped Yuusuke's hand away.

"Yes."

"**No.**"

"Yes!"

"Stop it before I hurt you."

"Just eat it."

"Yuusuke…"

"Why deny it? C'mon! Eat! Eat, eat, eat, eat! Eat it, dammit!"

Hiei had about enough of this child's play. He snatched the bar and crushed it in his clutches. "Enough," Hiei growled, the irritation steeping in his eyes.

Yuusuke blinked. Eyeing the creamy, brown slab of a mess smudging Hiei's entire hand. Unaffected by Hiei's stunt, Yuusuke gingerly took Hiei's wrist, holding it up. "No, you eat it, not squish it. Now look at the mess you made." In the instant Hiei prepared to hurl a curveball of an insult, Yuusuke popped a slick finger in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the digit. "Like this."

"What are you doing?" Hiei's eyes widened. He quickly composed himself, and shook off the mild surprise. Yuusuke carefully took his sweet time relishing the creamy, smooth taste coating the apparition's hand. He watched the look of strain flicker across the red, darkened eyes, keen on intensifying it tenfold.

"You know I think it tastes better this way," Yuusuke said, lapping the last bit off. Yuusuke didn't care where they were at the moment. He didn't care if the possibilities a walk-in could interrupt what is burning in his loins and thudding inside his chest.

Lifting a brow, Hiei shook his head in a condescending manner. Such insolent persistence. Yuusuke has a long way to go if he planned to build up patience. Hiei pried his hand away from Yuusuke. Hiei shot him a risqué smirk. "I don't think so."

Annoyance flickered through Yuusuke's brown eyes. "Asshole."

"I am not suffering with sexual frustration here,"—Hiei pressed the heel of his foot exactly where Yuusuke least wanted the arrogant demon to touch, and right there Hiei could feel the strain pushing against the young man's pants forming. —"You are, Yuusuke."

"Stop doing that," Yuusuke said quickly, his voice already thinning.

"Or what?"

"Just stop if you're going to—Ah, fuck it." Yuusuke surrendered to his need and rose up from his seat, pinning Hiei over on the desk. "You're playing with dangerous stuff here."

"I highly doubt it," Hiei replied saucily, reaching behind Yuusuke's neck and pulling him down and tasting the sweetness lingering in the young man's mouth. He was gentle, no fancy probing or indulging. He dragged the tip of his tongue across Yuusuke's bottom lip, kissing him quickly and drawing back. He smirked. "Chocolate ruins your flavor."

"Spoiled sport."

"Not even," Hiei said, flicking the bit of chocolate smudging the corner of Yuusuke's lip away.

Yuusuke pressed himself against Hiei and was surprised he was still soft. Yuusuke was about to change that. Hiei cocked his head looking a lot like a curious child, minus the innocence and kiddy features, watching Yuusuke drop to his knees. "What are you doing?"

Yuusuke smiled a very cheesy smile, pulling Hiei closer to the ledge by the thighs. "I'm horny and I need you to be horny with me in order to, you know, have some action," he explained in a lecherous and bland sort of way, if that's even the proper wording for it.

Yuusuke unfastened the demon's pants, sliding them down enough to have a good view of the private goods. A tremor slithered down his spine seeing _it_ out in the open. Dark and very lewd thoughts entered his mind…

Hiei scratched the back of his neck, not bothering to say what he thought of Yuusuke's practicality and bold actions. Hiei didn't say much to the young man kneeling; the only thing he could say in this situation is—

_Hell—Mmm—ahh…_Hiei's throat hummed attempting to suppress the sound of pleasure and surprise coming out. The tingling feeling spread out each time Yuusuke did it.

Yuusuke massaged and kneed it in his hands. Taking a great deal of care how he touched him. Yuusuke felt himself heat up in a surge of sudden heat, including losing his control a bit, watching the reaction of his gentle touches affect the demon. Licking his lips, Yuusuke leaned forward and licked the wet tip. Hiei was big enough for his satisfaction and hard as steel.

Hiei fought to give into the pleasure washing over him, it was foolish of him to permit Yuusuke the privilege of undoing him here in a classroom for fuck's sake!

Sometimes Hiei forgot Yuusuke's magic touch. Sometimes it's good to forget.

Hiei's breath hitched. He whispered something between 'fucking half breed' or 'fuck'. Hiei's trembling hands gripped the ledges of the desk. He leaned back, his hips thrusting in the hand pumping him. Yuusuke glanced up to see the rough, glaring expression staring down at him. Hiei's eyes could literally be described as having fire in them and Yuusuke loved it. He loved the danger it posed.

Yuusuke stopped. His dark eyes flashing a mischievous streak Hiei glared at. "Detective, finish the job," he said, voice thick, deep and threatening.

"You know, you are kind of sexy when you're mad," Yuusuke replied, joking. Hiei despised crude remarks such as that coming from him. It rubbed him the wrong way for some reason. Odd and certainly hypocritical of him, but true.

"Shut up."

"Okay, you sexy beast," Yuusuke laughed, deep-throating Hiei before he could throw a nasty remark.

"Damn you, you little—ahh…" Hiei hissed, his eyes snapping shut. Yuusuke felt a smirk coming on. A dick is a guy's weakest point. Hiei was no exception, ehehe. Yuusuke sucked, a hand squeezing the back of one of Hiei's strong, muscular thighs.

Pleasure surged him, rising inside him. The tide of rising sensation hit him like a wave crashing over the gentle shores. Hiei rode the sensation torturing his body for as long as he could.

If Yuusuke wasn't prepared for it he might have choked in Hiei's fluid. Yuusuke swallowed the hot substance down. He wiped the corner of his mouth, rising up to meet Hiei's lips. Yuusuke's tongue flicked out and licked the blood on the fire demon's lip. Hiei could taste himself and the tang of blood in Yuusuke's mouth. "Are you ready for me, Hiei?"

Eyes close, Hiei collected his senses back together; his vision was still fuzzy edged and satisfaction in relief made it hard to listen to words and sensitive to touch. Bastard idiot. "How's that?"

"Turn around and I'll show you what I mean," Yuusuke suggested, the glint of desire in his eyes. He ached badly and he wanted to bury himself in Hiei's hard and tight lithe body. Hiei's brow rose; is that so? Hiei pounced, smashing Yuusuke to the ground facedown. "What the fuck, Hiei?"

Yuusuke struggled under Hiei's grip, Hiei's foot grinded on the small of the boy's back bruising hard. "I don't think so. I rather _I_ have my way with you, instead. You had your fun, now its my turn, Detective," the harsh, promising tone suggested he'll indeed have his fun taking Yuusuke hard and rough right here and now. "I'm going to fuck you to the point you won't remember how you got here in the first place."

In the back of Yuusuke's mind a dark and wanton need found Hiei's little threat appealing and he didn't have much of a problem arguing the fire apparition's proposal. Yuusuke said, "Go ahead and do it, bitch. Fuck me good and hard."

**The End.**


End file.
